Why do people tend to sweep things under a rug?
We all have family secrets. For baby boomers, I think our parents were raised that image and status were everything. My parents were born in 1930 and 1937. I was a child who watched Ozzie and Harriet and Leave it to Beaver. June Cleaver and Harriet Nelson would have died before they showed the world anything bad about their family or themselves. Then came the 1960s – All bets were off. Being open became the standard.
Why did I decide to tell my story?
Over the years, I’ve met several other couples like Jimmy and I. Step-siblings who fell in love, married and even had children. (We did not have children together. I have two from a previous marriages) Our story is different from most. I knew we were destined to be together the first time I saw him.
By exposing the bad along with the good, I hope to break through to others and promote more understanding of the emotions that can sometimes affect step-siblings.
How has my childhood affected my adult life?
An alcoholic parent, then the death of Daddy when I was 10 and the remarriage of my mom a few months later – all of this still plays a role in my relationships today.
Trust is very difficult for me. Waiting for the other shoe to drop is in the back of my mind at all times. I married too young to get out of an extremely dysfunctional family. I was not prepared for being a wife or a mother, although my children are the most important people in my life.
By not having a good two-parent nuclear family example to follow, I made every mistake possible in the early years. Some of that was my rebellious streak, of course. I was never a “sweet little thing.” Fortunately, when I married my second husband he was a very patient man. LOL
Parents or adult children of blended families would be well served by reading everything on Blended Families, joining online groups, church groups, etc. Anything to help navigate the field of strong emotions is a plus.
A widow now, my past still haunts me at times. If I can help others to avoid the pain of trying to meld families into a cohesive unit and instead help them to find the joy in mixing it up, all the experiences of my past will be worth it.
Blended families can and do work. It just takes time and effort.
And, I wouldn’t trade marriage to my soulmate for anything!
P.S. My mom was married 3 times and widowed 3 times. Maybe sometime I’ll tell you how many step-siblings I really do have!
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Tell me about your experiences with blended family life.